Divorce. Children. Psychologist’s advice

Развод. Дети. Советы психолога

Family lawyer in Ukraine
Skryabin Alexey Nikolaevich
Skryabin Alexey Nikolaevich
Doctor of Law
Hello! In the article "Divorce. Children. Psychologist's advice" on the websiterozluchennya-onlain.com.ua I will tell you how to tell children about the dissolution of the marriage of parents and what is the opinion of psychologists: what does a child need after a divorce of parents.

How to tell children about the dissolution of the marriage of parents?

It is better that both parents have this difficult conversation with the child together. It is worth preparing both and setting aside time for this.

The main points that parents need to pay attention to when talking with a child about divorce:

  1. Communicate that you made such a decision together and it would be better for both of you to live separately.
  2. Convince that this has nothing to do with the child himself or with his behavior. This is purely an adult problem between adults. That is, we remove a possible sense of guilt from the child. Children, especially very young ones, live with the feeling that everything revolves around them. Therefore, they may have fantasies that all this is due to bad behavior. For example, scattered toys in his room.
  3. Be sure to say that you remain a loving mom and a loving dad. “We love you very much and remain your parents. We will continue to love you, take care, play and work with you!”.
  4. A highly desirable item: to promise that, despite the rather difficult relationship with each other, your love for the child will not decrease. This will not affect your love for the child in any way. And you will make every effort to build relationships and remain friends.

The opinion of psychologists: what does a child need after a divorce of parents?

Children are greatly affected by the relationship of parents after a divorce. If they see ongoing quarrels and conflicts, their stress increases. Better all your grievances, discontent, accusations – to friends or a psychotherapist. I often see how children are literally torn apart by warring parents. Such a mistake is costly to the health and psyche of the child.

Do not blame the other parent in front of the child, do not tell him “nasty things” about him. Each of us has his own “assembly point” – each of us has his own conditions of growing up, his own life experience. Your attitude towards your ex-spouse is only yours, it includes your relationship history and your view of the situation. The child has his own experience of relations with the other parent and he has the right to a good continuation of these relations. Remember that you once fell in love with your spouse and, apparently, there was a reason for that. The world is seen differently by everyone. Give the child the opportunity to see his world and receive from the other parent all the good that he can really give him.

Also, useful information on the website rozluchennya-onlain.com.ua of the family lawyer Skryabin Aleksey Nikolaevich for you can be: Services of a family psychologist, Services of an interpreter, Divorce with a Spaniard, Divorce with a Czech, File a divorce for citizens of Crimea, Apostille on documents, Apostille on a court decision about divorce.

Rejoice when the child spends time with the other parent and support it. Don’t show how much you don’t like it! Don’t put too much pressure on the fact that you miss your child when he spends time with the other parent – do not provoke guilt in the child. He should not be responsible for your emotional balance. This is his part of life and he has a right to it! He really has and should have both parents.

The child needs stability and clarity. Children really worry about where they will live now, with whom, and what will happen now. It is better to show him where the other parent will live, how and when they will see him. Explain what will change in his life – who will drive him to school, for example, who will pick him up, who will take him to additional classes, etc.

Don’t “act out” your “guilt” for the divorce by bribing your child. Remain all the same “no”, which were before the divorce. And the demands of discipline too! Otherwise, the child will feel that he can manipulate you to the detriment of his personal development.

It so happened that you have a divorce … children … The psychologist’s advice is the same: remember that a child needs both parents who love him!

Contact our company rozluchennya-onlain.com.ua and our specialist with the help of special methodological techniques, family psychotherapy techniques will help you quickly and effectively solve your problem situation of any complexity in family relationships.

Family lawyer in Ukraine
Scriabina Daria Sergeevna
Scriabina Daria Sergeevna
PhD in Law
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